It's only when we communicate or understand the emotional side of what is being communicated, that we can properly understand and truly relate to a person.
For example, a parent says: "The children have grown up and left home". This is a simple and clear statement, a piece of factual information; we've learnt something. But we are not yet in touch with that person, and we can't actually understand them properly until some emotion is shared.
"The children have grown up and left home, and I'm missing them like crazy", or "The children have grown up and left home and I'm so glad to have them out of the house!". Now we are beginning to know the person and understand what they are experiencing ...
With no emotion, we know about a person; but with emotion being expressed we begin to know the person. Those two things sound similar, but are a million miles apart.
Much of the time in churches people learn about Jesus and about God. That is fine as far as it goes - but it's not the same as being a Christian! Where is the living relationship?
Knowing that Jesus lived, taught, performed miracles, died, was resurrected and ascended to heaven - is interesting; but what does that have to do with me? It's only when I recognise that Jesus did these things because he loves me, grieves over my sin, longs to forgive me if only I will accept, yearns for a relationship with me - that things becomes personal. And this difference isn't just knowing more facts, but being in touch with how he feels about me!
And my response is not sufficient if I merely recognise the fact, or intellectually assent, that I need his forgiveness. It becomes real when I too weep over my sin, feel the joy of being in his presence, am honest with him about my struggles and fears ... Now we have a relationship!
So if a church keeps emotion out of the sanctuary it is stifling living relationships with God. How very sad!
Emotion is not enough on it's own for a good relationship, but being wary of emotion in Christianity merely indicates that our relationship with God is more intellectual than personal - relating to the ideas in Christianity, rather than relating to God.
Fortunately for us, God wants to have a very personal and emotional relationship with us. It's high time we responded - with joy!
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Thursday 21 April 2011
Head, heart and hands
Each of us naturally leans towards using our minds, or our emotion, or our practical abilities. People tend to be strong in one of these ways of operating, adequate at another, and are often poor at the third. There's nothing wrong with this - it's just that people are different.
Those who most readily respond with their minds will think first; they may also feel some emotion or do something practical, but these will come after thinking. They are likely to be comfortable with understanding and reasoning; they have good 'head knowledge' and understand how (some) things work, which gives them a 'mental map' of what is happening and how best to respond. They will use phrases such as: 'I think that ...', 'What is happening is...', 'I know about that...'.
Others are primarily in touch with their emotion. They hear about something that has happened and are moved by the joy or sadness in it; tears and happiness will be familiar. They may not think through a situation, but they are in touch with what they feel about it and this guides their decisions and actions. They will use phrases such as: 'I feel that...', 'It's so sad that...', 'That poor person!'.
Others are first and foremost practical. Their first inclination is to do something; so if they hear about a person in need, their response is to do something practical to help. They will use phrases such as: 'How can we help you?', 'Can I drive you there?', 'Let's take them some flowers'.
We may well not be aware of such strengths and weaknesses in ourselves, and so are puzzled (at best) or scornful (at worst) at others who have different responses.
Our churches also tend to have a similar bias, and are usually just as blind about it. So (to grossly generalise) the evangelicals think, the charismatics feel, and the socially active Christians get on with doing things. Moreover - to continue the caricature - the evangelicals will be very wary of emotional charismatics and dismissive of 'the social gospel' - their priority is to get their teaching right! The charismatics will be amazed at how cold and unresponsive those evangelicals are, and yet are also not so keen to rush out into practical Christian action as they are enjoying the presence of God in their worship. And those who are into practical loving in Jesus' name cannot understand why these other Christians don't do anything useful!
These differences are often dressed up in theological language, but this doesn't really reflect a difference in theology so much as that God made people different!
But Jesus - unusually - was skilled in all three areas: clear thinking, emotionally literate, and practically involved. Perhaps this is not so surprising, as each of these reflect aspects of God's own character; you will see them all threaded throughout scripture if you look.
Rather than having our churches majoring in just one of these ways of operating and then constructing a theology to justify their discomfort with others' ways of responding, can we not recognise and use the different God-given giftings of our membership so that all are welcome in our churches and all bases are covered?
Of course, our minister / pastor / vicar will have their own personal strengths and weaknesses in these areas and so will almost certainly find it difficult to operate skillfully in all these modes. Can they humbly acknowledge their own weak areas and so seek out and use those within the church who have different gifts?
Only then can we have churches which have the mind of Christ, express the love and compassion of God, and then get involved with their hands in practical loving action in the name of Jesus.
Those who most readily respond with their minds will think first; they may also feel some emotion or do something practical, but these will come after thinking. They are likely to be comfortable with understanding and reasoning; they have good 'head knowledge' and understand how (some) things work, which gives them a 'mental map' of what is happening and how best to respond. They will use phrases such as: 'I think that ...', 'What is happening is...', 'I know about that...'.
Others are primarily in touch with their emotion. They hear about something that has happened and are moved by the joy or sadness in it; tears and happiness will be familiar. They may not think through a situation, but they are in touch with what they feel about it and this guides their decisions and actions. They will use phrases such as: 'I feel that...', 'It's so sad that...', 'That poor person!'.
Others are first and foremost practical. Their first inclination is to do something; so if they hear about a person in need, their response is to do something practical to help. They will use phrases such as: 'How can we help you?', 'Can I drive you there?', 'Let's take them some flowers'.
We may well not be aware of such strengths and weaknesses in ourselves, and so are puzzled (at best) or scornful (at worst) at others who have different responses.
Our churches also tend to have a similar bias, and are usually just as blind about it. So (to grossly generalise) the evangelicals think, the charismatics feel, and the socially active Christians get on with doing things. Moreover - to continue the caricature - the evangelicals will be very wary of emotional charismatics and dismissive of 'the social gospel' - their priority is to get their teaching right! The charismatics will be amazed at how cold and unresponsive those evangelicals are, and yet are also not so keen to rush out into practical Christian action as they are enjoying the presence of God in their worship. And those who are into practical loving in Jesus' name cannot understand why these other Christians don't do anything useful!
These differences are often dressed up in theological language, but this doesn't really reflect a difference in theology so much as that God made people different!
But Jesus - unusually - was skilled in all three areas: clear thinking, emotionally literate, and practically involved. Perhaps this is not so surprising, as each of these reflect aspects of God's own character; you will see them all threaded throughout scripture if you look.
Rather than having our churches majoring in just one of these ways of operating and then constructing a theology to justify their discomfort with others' ways of responding, can we not recognise and use the different God-given giftings of our membership so that all are welcome in our churches and all bases are covered?
Of course, our minister / pastor / vicar will have their own personal strengths and weaknesses in these areas and so will almost certainly find it difficult to operate skillfully in all these modes. Can they humbly acknowledge their own weak areas and so seek out and use those within the church who have different gifts?
Only then can we have churches which have the mind of Christ, express the love and compassion of God, and then get involved with their hands in practical loving action in the name of Jesus.
Saturday 16 April 2011
If something's worth doing, it's worth doing badly
We are often told that if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I want to propose that a more useful aphorism is that if something’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly!
If God calls you to do something, go and do it – even if you can only do it badly. Speak to your neighbour, and feel clumsy at it; phone someone who has been on your mind, even though you don’t know quite what to say; pick up the Bible, even though you do not know where to begin; pray, even though your prayers are childish; be obedient, even when there is nothing to show for it!
For then you will rely on God’s strength rather than on your own. Then you will see Almighty God at work, and not just the result of your own feeble ability. And you will know the peace of being within God’s will; and when the world calls you a failure, praise the Lord, for it is true; but you’re a forgiven failure doing the work your Lord has called you to.
You may think: "That's fine for you to say, for you are doing alright. But me, I really am a failure!". There are likely to be times when all of us know we have failed in some overwhelming manner, and are deeply ashamed, even broken. That's not a comfortable place to be in, but in that moment we are in touch with the truth, unlike those who think they are a success.
As Christians we often don’t see the end results of our work, for we deal with faith, hope and love more than with tangible end results. If you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, be willing to give up all hope of success and greatness in this world, for God turns this world’s values upside down.
Yes, the people who choose the top seats at the table are moved down, to make way for the humble. The first shall be last, and last first. And St Paul in his letter to the Corinthian Christians says “the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Cor 1v18).
Steer clear of success – it’s territory Satan entices us to – but a failure, now that is someone that God can use!
If God calls you to do something, go and do it – even if you can only do it badly. Speak to your neighbour, and feel clumsy at it; phone someone who has been on your mind, even though you don’t know quite what to say; pick up the Bible, even though you do not know where to begin; pray, even though your prayers are childish; be obedient, even when there is nothing to show for it!
For then you will rely on God’s strength rather than on your own. Then you will see Almighty God at work, and not just the result of your own feeble ability. And you will know the peace of being within God’s will; and when the world calls you a failure, praise the Lord, for it is true; but you’re a forgiven failure doing the work your Lord has called you to.
You may think: "That's fine for you to say, for you are doing alright. But me, I really am a failure!". There are likely to be times when all of us know we have failed in some overwhelming manner, and are deeply ashamed, even broken. That's not a comfortable place to be in, but in that moment we are in touch with the truth, unlike those who think they are a success.
As Christians we often don’t see the end results of our work, for we deal with faith, hope and love more than with tangible end results. If you want to be great in the Kingdom of God, be willing to give up all hope of success and greatness in this world, for God turns this world’s values upside down.
Yes, the people who choose the top seats at the table are moved down, to make way for the humble. The first shall be last, and last first. And St Paul in his letter to the Corinthian Christians says “the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Cor 1v18).
Steer clear of success – it’s territory Satan entices us to – but a failure, now that is someone that God can use!
Thursday 14 April 2011
Was Jesus really such a success?
Looking at Jesus with our success-oriented eyes, we tend to see the miracle-performing, world-changing Son of God. Not the typical modern-day celebrity type, it's true, but nonetheless, a super-hero up there with the very best of them.
I suggest the view at the time might have been rather different.
Just after his birth he and his family became refugees as they fled Herod’s persecutions. We know almost nothing about his life before he started his mission - he was a carpenter living a life of obscurity in a nowhere town. At the age of about 30, having achieved nothing so far of particular note, he set out on his God-given mission - to bring God’s plan for salvation to the whole of mankind!
It went well to start with, with great crowds flocking to hear him and see his miracles. But quickly it began to go wrong: he was rejected in his home town and narrowly escaped being murdered. Not long after, the great majority of his followers fell away when the going got tough, leaving just the 12. And then one of these twelve betrayed him into the hands of his armed enemies. The others deserted when he was arrested and Peter, his most loyal supporter, denied he even knew him. Following an illegal trial on trumped-up charges, he was put to death with common criminals.
Hanging there on the cross with his life flashing before his eyes: what was there to show for all his work? Where was the fruit of his great mission? Where was the evidence of salvation for the world? In fact, where were his disciples?
No thriving congregation, no recognition, no books published, no possessions apart from the clothes he was wearing, no children. Misunderstood, rejected, dead at 33 and no memorial service with warm words. Apart from a handful, no-one cared. There were just a few frightened and disillusioned disciples who had lost hope and scattered!
As he was dying, nothing remained - except his faith in his Father. The salvation of the world, hanging by the merest of threads - in the faith of one dying man!
He dies, not seeing any evidence for what he trusts is to come. As the world judges things, his life was a catastrophic failure. (Don't let the fact that you know the end of the story blind you to the crisis at this moment in history...)
Imagine, as you look back on your life when you are dying: everything you have worked hard for and cared about - come to absolutely nothing!
So was Jesus really a such a success?
He was successful only in having lived a life of total obedience to his Father. He trusted his Father to fulfil his promise, even when all appeared to have gone wrong.
We, too, have a choice: work to be a success - and perhaps gain some possessions and achieve a modicum of recognition. Or choose to be obedient - most likely being seen as a failure in the eyes of the world - but leaving room for God to work in whatever way he wishes.
Remembered for the car or house you owned? Or remembered for being the hands of God?
I suggest the view at the time might have been rather different.
Just after his birth he and his family became refugees as they fled Herod’s persecutions. We know almost nothing about his life before he started his mission - he was a carpenter living a life of obscurity in a nowhere town. At the age of about 30, having achieved nothing so far of particular note, he set out on his God-given mission - to bring God’s plan for salvation to the whole of mankind!
It went well to start with, with great crowds flocking to hear him and see his miracles. But quickly it began to go wrong: he was rejected in his home town and narrowly escaped being murdered. Not long after, the great majority of his followers fell away when the going got tough, leaving just the 12. And then one of these twelve betrayed him into the hands of his armed enemies. The others deserted when he was arrested and Peter, his most loyal supporter, denied he even knew him. Following an illegal trial on trumped-up charges, he was put to death with common criminals.
Hanging there on the cross with his life flashing before his eyes: what was there to show for all his work? Where was the fruit of his great mission? Where was the evidence of salvation for the world? In fact, where were his disciples?
No thriving congregation, no recognition, no books published, no possessions apart from the clothes he was wearing, no children. Misunderstood, rejected, dead at 33 and no memorial service with warm words. Apart from a handful, no-one cared. There were just a few frightened and disillusioned disciples who had lost hope and scattered!
As he was dying, nothing remained - except his faith in his Father. The salvation of the world, hanging by the merest of threads - in the faith of one dying man!
He dies, not seeing any evidence for what he trusts is to come. As the world judges things, his life was a catastrophic failure. (Don't let the fact that you know the end of the story blind you to the crisis at this moment in history...)
Imagine, as you look back on your life when you are dying: everything you have worked hard for and cared about - come to absolutely nothing!
So was Jesus really a such a success?
He was successful only in having lived a life of total obedience to his Father. He trusted his Father to fulfil his promise, even when all appeared to have gone wrong.
We, too, have a choice: work to be a success - and perhaps gain some possessions and achieve a modicum of recognition. Or choose to be obedient - most likely being seen as a failure in the eyes of the world - but leaving room for God to work in whatever way he wishes.
Remembered for the car or house you owned? Or remembered for being the hands of God?
Thursday 7 April 2011
In praise of failure
We live in a world obsessed with success. We are interested in the rich, the famous and the powerful, the movers and the shakers, and we watch their activities, accomplishments and lifestyle on our televisions and in the magazines and papers.
We are bombarded through the media and advertising with the command, sometimes blatant, sometimes subtle: “be successful”, usually followed up with some trite message about the deodorant you should use, the way you should look, the clothes you should wear, the car you should drive.
We think that we are well able to spot the deceit and so strain out the gnat: we know that success doesn’t depend on a fragrance, or even on our car. Yet we swallow the camel, the much more insidious and repeated lie: that we should be successful.
Everywhere there is pressure to succeed and the message is that our worth is based on our performance. Achieve, and you’re worth something; otherwise you are nothing. The world commands success, and the failures in our society are airbrushed out of sight...
No, this is a piece in praise of failure! (The very idea is shocking...)
Think through some of the well-known Gospel stories with me: there are many notable successes and ignominious failures in its pages.
Here are a some of the successful people who are mentioned in the Bible:
And here are some of the notable failures mentioned in the Gospels:
There is a real bias in Jesus’ teaching – few successful people accepted Jesus, while many of the failures, the outcasts and nobodies were his friends and followers. And there are many more examples than these few I have mentioned.
Success is a very cruel god to worship! And here you are on very slippery ground; it is the domain of the Enemy.
What about us? Are we striving to be a success – don’t, for it’s fools gold. God isn’t interested in success, but he is interested in failures! Are we too proud to admit to being a failure? We only begin our Christian life when we recognise we are failures, and give up trying to succeed in our own strength, and plead for forgiveness. No, God isn’t interested in successful people, only in forgiven failures - in those who submit to Him, those who obey His commands and do His will.
Maybe you think that I’m saying that to admit to being a failure is the first step towards success? No! It is a key to being in a right relationship with God, but not to success in this life! God is more likely to ask you clear up the books after the service, or to be a friend to your neighbour, than to be successful, rich or famous. For God the Father knows that success is a temptation that few can withstand.
The world commands success, though the devilish twist is that most end up feeling a failure. Christ works with failures - who end up at peace with God.
We are bombarded through the media and advertising with the command, sometimes blatant, sometimes subtle: “be successful”, usually followed up with some trite message about the deodorant you should use, the way you should look, the clothes you should wear, the car you should drive.
We think that we are well able to spot the deceit and so strain out the gnat: we know that success doesn’t depend on a fragrance, or even on our car. Yet we swallow the camel, the much more insidious and repeated lie: that we should be successful.
Everywhere there is pressure to succeed and the message is that our worth is based on our performance. Achieve, and you’re worth something; otherwise you are nothing. The world commands success, and the failures in our society are airbrushed out of sight...
No, this is a piece in praise of failure! (The very idea is shocking...)
Think through some of the well-known Gospel stories with me: there are many notable successes and ignominious failures in its pages.
Here are a some of the successful people who are mentioned in the Bible:
- In Matt 19 v16f there was the rich man who came to follow Jesus and asked what he needed to do to enter the Kingdom of God. He went away downcast when he was told to go and sell his possessions and give to the poor, then to come and follow Jesus. After this Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”.
- In Luke 12v16f we are told about a successful farmer, who had a bumper crop and decided to build new barns to horde all his produce, so that he could then retire and take life easy. But he died the next day, and Jesus used him as a warning, saying, “This is how it will be for anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich towards others”.
- The Pharisees were the religious and civic leaders of the day, the successful people, the top of the pile – but in Matt 23 Jesus repeatedly calls them ‘hypocrites’, ‘blind guides’, a ‘brood of vipers’, and compared them to ‘white-washed tombs’.
And here are some of the notable failures mentioned in the Gospels:
- In Luke 7v36f there was the prostitute who wept for her sinful life, and poured perfume on Jesus’ feet. She had her sins forgiven, while the Pharisee in whose house Jesus was feasting at the time was just indignant that Jesus would deal with such a person.
- In Luke 16 v19 there is the story of the rich man who lived in luxury, and the beggar Lazarus who lived at his gate. It was only the latter that went to heaven.
- In Luke 18 v9 there were two men praying – a Pharisee and a tax collector. It was only the tax collector, an outcast, whose prayers were heard by God.
- Then there was the repentant thief, crucified along with Jesus, who entered paradise …
There is a real bias in Jesus’ teaching – few successful people accepted Jesus, while many of the failures, the outcasts and nobodies were his friends and followers. And there are many more examples than these few I have mentioned.
Success is a very cruel god to worship! And here you are on very slippery ground; it is the domain of the Enemy.
What about us? Are we striving to be a success – don’t, for it’s fools gold. God isn’t interested in success, but he is interested in failures! Are we too proud to admit to being a failure? We only begin our Christian life when we recognise we are failures, and give up trying to succeed in our own strength, and plead for forgiveness. No, God isn’t interested in successful people, only in forgiven failures - in those who submit to Him, those who obey His commands and do His will.
Maybe you think that I’m saying that to admit to being a failure is the first step towards success? No! It is a key to being in a right relationship with God, but not to success in this life! God is more likely to ask you clear up the books after the service, or to be a friend to your neighbour, than to be successful, rich or famous. For God the Father knows that success is a temptation that few can withstand.
The world commands success, though the devilish twist is that most end up feeling a failure. Christ works with failures - who end up at peace with God.
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