Sunday 26 August 2012

5 ways to well-being

Returning to the theme of wellbeing (see Seeking well-being rather than salvation), I have been very struck by a paper by the 'New Economics Forum' (NEF) who reviewed the evidence for what activities enhance wellbeing and also reduces the risk of mental health problems. The NEF is an independent think tank whose tag line is 'economics as if people and the planet mattered'.

As a counsellor I am impressed with the findings they present in this paper. Here is the simple summary, in the report's own words:

Five ways to well-being*

A review of the most up-to-date evidence suggests that building the following five actions into our day-to-day lives is important for well-being:

Connect...
With the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections will support and enrich you every day.

Be active...
Go for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

Take notice...
Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

Keep learning...
Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident as well as being fun.

Give...
Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you.



But I am most struck as a Christian with how closely these mesh with values at the heart of the Christian gospel. Jesus told us 2000 years ago that:

  • relationships matter greatly - with our Father in heaven, with our families, our neighbours and community; we are even to love our enemies
  • our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we are to take care of them
  • we should notice with awe, praise and thanks the remarkable works of our amazing Creator
  • there is always more to know of God our Father, and that we are to strive to become mature, the people that God intended and more clearly reflecting the image of Christ
  • and that it is more blessed to give than to receive.

Still, I suppose it's not a surprise that God knows what is good for us.


* The full Report is available from the New Economics Forum website.

Saturday 4 August 2012

Love your neighbour as yourself

Jesus said that the second most important command was to "Love your neighbour as yourself" (Matthew 22 v39, quoting Leviticus 19 v18), as if loving ourselves was the most natural thing in the world and this clearly explained how we should go about loving our neighbours.

It's true that most people tend to eat when they are hungry, warm themselves when they are cold, seek security when they are fearful, etc. But is Jesus simply saying that loving our neighbour involves feeding or warming others when they're are hungry or cold, and offering security when they are afraid?

Moreover, working as a counsellor, I sometimes talk with people who self-harm, have eating disorders, or feel suicidal - people who appear not to know how to love themselves, let alone love others. Even those who don't struggle with such problems frequently behave in ways that are likely to leave them wounded - through the misuse of sex, alcohol or just leading an unhealthy lifestyle. In fact, when it comes down to it, all of us behave in ways that are selfish or self-damaging in various ways. And this isn't loving ourselves - it's love gone wrong, turned into greed or self-worship.

So do any of us really know what it is to love ourselves?

There is more to Jesus' command than simple advice to 'do as you would be done by', which, in the minds of many people is just seen as 'be nice to others in the hope that they'll be nice back', or is sometimes expressed as 'what goes around, comes around'.

Perhaps we need to understand more about love? What did Jesus mean when he said we should love both our neighbours and ourselves?

I drew a distinction between worldly and Godly views of love in one of my earliest posts - Whatever you do, don't love me - but we should look at that wonderful description of Christian love in the Bible to get a clear insight into what it is to love someone.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13 v4-7)

This is proactive love - actively seeking ways to do good to our neighbour; it is much more than merely being nice to people.

Perhaps it is also then an instruction into how we should go about loving ourselves as well as our neighbour? Are we patient and kind towards ourselves? Do we let go of our anger and our grudges - even those we hold towards ourselves? Are we honest with ourselves? Do we forgive ourselves, protect ourselves? Do we trust ourselves - or do we try to deceive ourselves? Do we keep hoping and persevering, trusting that God will bring his good work in us to completion?

If we actively love ourselves in this way - knowing God first loved us - we may also become better at loving our neighbour.