Sunday 20 May 2012

The art of listening

Someone speaks, and there is:
  • the context - the setting, what has come before and is expected after
  • the genre - informing, chatting, story-telling, gossiping, warning, commanding
  • the attitude toward the listener - threatening, encouraging, caring, concerned
  • the degree of interest in or connection with others - or the degree of self-preoccupation
  • the tone of voice - melodic, flat, rasping
  • the volume - shouted, spoken, whispered
  • the use of breath - with a gentle flow, or caught in mid-flow
  • the rate of speech - in a rush to get it out, or with all the time in the world
  • the quantity - straight and to the point, extensive, or rambling
  • the degree of specificity - vague and evasive, or full of detail
  • the emotion portrayed - calmness, joy, sadness, despair, emptiness, hope
  • the degree of self displayed - very open and personal, distant and kept hidden
  • the words or phrases that are emphasised or repeated - and the meaning these repetitions carry
  • the tenses used - past, future, present
  • the degree of agency - or passivity
  • the beliefs, assumptions and worldview - threading the words together
  • the underlying messages - veiled, transparent, or hitting one over the head through the meaning between the lines
  • the 'ums' and 'ers' - the stutters and the chuckles
  • the silences - awkward or peaceful, reflective or hesitant
  • the eye contact - engaged or avoided, the glances at meaningful moments
  • the facial expression - frowning, worried, a mask, open, smiling, and how these play across the face
  • the body language - gesticulations, the lean of the body, the angle of the shoulders, and how these match, or do not match the spoken words
  • the variability - or the lack of variability in all the above
  • and what is not said.

Oh, and there are also the words themselves that are uttered.

Friday 18 May 2012

Listen with your eyes

Most people listen with their ears, look with their eyes and speak from their mind.

Rather, listen with your eyes, look with your heart and speak from your soul.

Monday 7 May 2012

24 hours in a day

Why do we value money more highly than time? Money has no limits - there is always the possibility of raising more! But there is no possibility of making more time; there are precisely 24 hours in each day - no more and no less.

This is not to say that there is too little time. God has given us the time he has given us, and who can say that God is wrong? It is we who rush and bustle, who think that time is short, but it is God who accomplishes his every purpose without any rush.

Perhaps this gives a clue as to the cause of our rush. God has given us exactly enough time to do his will, not too little and not too much. But we spend time doing other things, heedless of his will - things we think are important but are of no real consequence. So we squander his gift of time.

There isn't time to do his will and ours; we have to choose.