On saying "no"

Do you remember all those times you said "yes" to some request for help, without really stopping and thinking about it much? And then later got annoyed that you were committed to doing this thing, or found yourself ending up being much too busy?

It is said that 'If you want something done, ask a busy person'. You know how there are some people who seem to be involved in lots of things, and others who don't seem to get involved at all? Well, if you are the former, this post is for you. Let's take a closer look at the thinking and motives that may be going on here.

As a Christian I should say 'yes'

Maybe you feel that as a Christian you should be helping out, even when you don't really feel like it? After all, this is about putting others' needs before our own, isn't it?

Well, God certainly calls us to work for him, and this may well include ways that aren't high on our personal list of preferences, or that involve real sacrificial service.  But this also means that there are things he does not call us to do.  This isn't simply to say that God calls us to do good and not evil (though that is true), but that there are good things he is not calling me to do - for he has different, individually tailored, work for each person who will follow him.

There are only 24 hours in a day, and they need to be used fully in the ways God has commanded - which includes his command to rest and to take time with him... We certainly can't do everything, and God doesn't call us to do so! So what is he calling us to do, and what is he calling others to do?

Somebody's got to do it

But if God has not called you to such work, why are you doing it?  It might be because you've got hooked by the notion that someone's got to do this thing, and if no-one else is, then it better be you.

But actually, it might be that God actually doesn't need that particular thing done, and so no-one doing it really is the best outcome. Alternatively, it may be that someone else should be getting off their backside to do what God has called them to.

So, it may also be that while you are doing these things that God hasn't called you to do, you are robbing someone else of that role which is theirs!  Perhaps they remain one of the people in the background because you are always there in front, getting in the way?

Moreover, if you are busy doing something you are not called to, then you are not getting on with what he has called you to ...

It would look bad if I said no / it would look good if I said yes

Umm. I thought that pride would turn up somewhere in this topic.

There's a real need

Does a need constitute a call? I think not. There are so many needs and we cannot possibly respond to them all. Some are easy to say 'no' to, as we clearly don't have the required skills or resources; but when we could do something, does that mean we are called?

So when we helpfully, or out of a sense of Christian duty, always say 'yes', then we are spending time not doing what God has called us to do. The devil is very keen to keep us busy doing all sorts of good things, just so long as they are not what God has called us to do.

Our thinking and motives for saying 'yes' or 'no' are always complex and mixed; pride and fear are bound to be in there somewhere. So perhaps, rather than simply saying "yes", or by starting from the point of considering whether the task needs to be done, we would do better to start by asking God, "Are you calling me to do this?"

Of course, the question arises: "How do I know what God is calling me to do?". The answer lies in a close and personal walk with Jesus - which will almost certainly be squeezed out if you are always saying 'yes' to everything else...