Where do you draw that boundary?

Probably without thinking much about it, we all carry in our minds ways in which we judge others to be 'like us', or 'not like us', no doubt with a grey area in the middle of 'people who are somewhat like us'.

What interests me is how very differently people make this judgement - whether their definitions of 'like me' are very narrow, or very inclusive - and the reasons that may be behind this difference.

For some, 'like me' means only those who support the same team, or (in case you think I am stereotyping sports fans) just people who have the same lifestyle or educational background, or share the same theological outlook. After all, this seems like a good way of maintaining a sense of personal security: by avoiding much difference and thus potential awkwardness.

Of course, this is also a handy shortcut to deciding whether it is worth striking up a conversation with this other person, or considering the potential of friendship with them, or even caring what happens to them at all. If they support the wrong team, come from a different background or are from the wrong side of the spiritual tracks, then there's little point wasting any effort on them. They can live in their world and I can live in mine.

There are at least two problems with this: it's a lousy strategy for building your personal sense of security, and, secondly, like it or not, we actually live in the same world.

From time to time, though not often, I admit, I meet people who seem able to relate to others who are very different to themselves, and do so very easily and naturally. They are interested in people from quite different lifestyle, cultural and spiritual backgrounds. How do they do this? Sometimes it looks like they are 'making an effort' to relate, but there are definitely some people for whom this comes naturally - they are open, curious, genuinely interested. And they tend to be people who are very secure in themselves.

It takes a considerable degree of security to relate comfortably to people who are very different to ourselves, to stay with the discomfort and to not feel somewhat threatened.

It is said of the Christian church that it is one of the few places where people of very different backgrounds come together as one, and there is some real truth in this. But Christians don't have a monopoly on personal security: there are people of other faiths or none who care deeply for others and about world issues and live this out in practical ways in their daily lives. And, sadly, there are Christians who cannot relate even to those from other branches of the Christian faith!

There's no surprise that Christians can be insecure, lacking in love or immature. In short, we're sinful; we are forgiven sinners and no more. But we are urged in the scriptures to 'Love your neighbour as yourself' (Mark 12v31) - which Jesus said was the second most important command of all - and it is made very clear that the call to reach out to 'our neighbour' is to reach well beyond just 'people like us', as the parable of the Good Samaritan makes clear (Luke 10v23f).

It's easy to love and deal decently with people like us. But if we draw tight boundaries around those we feel are like us, then it's time to get on our knees and seek forgiveness, and to ask the Lord to increase the love in our hearts. Growing in love is synonymous with expanding the boundaries of those who we consider like us.

Where do you draw that boundary? Honestly?

If you really want to grow in love and personal security, don't wait until you feel more loving or secure! Get some Godly practice in reaching out to people who are not so like yourself. It'll take some effort and probably won't come naturally at all; you'll need to ask for God's help.

But He's good at this, and by his grace you'll get better at it. And a greater sense of personal security will, in time, follow. And your heart will beat with Jesus' love.