Where do you draw that boundary?

Probably without thinking much about it, we all carry in our minds ways in which we judge others to be 'like us', or 'not like us', no doubt with a grey area in the middle of 'people who are somewhat like us'.

What interests me is how very differently people make this judgement - whether their definitions of 'like me' are very narrow, or very inclusive - and the reasons that may be behind this difference.

For some, 'like me' means only those who support the same team, or (in case you think I am stereotyping sports fans) just people who have the same lifestyle or educational background, or share the same theological outlook. After all, this seems like a good way of maintaining a sense of personal security: by avoiding much difference and thus potential awkwardness.

Of course, this is also a handy shortcut to deciding whether it is worth striking up a conversation with this other person, or considering the potential of friendship with them, or even caring what happens to them at all. If they support the wrong team, come from a different background or are from the wrong side of the spiritual tracks, then there's little point wasting any effort on them. They can live in their world and I can live in mine.

There are at least two problems with this: it's a lousy strategy for building your personal sense of security, and, secondly, like it or not, we actually live in the same world.

From time to time, though not often, I admit, I meet people who seem able to relate to others who are very different to themselves, and do so very easily and naturally. They are interested in people from quite different lifestyle, cultural and spiritual backgrounds. How do they do this? Sometimes it looks like they are 'making an effort' to relate, but there are definitely some people for whom this comes naturally - they are open, curious, genuinely interested. And they tend to be people who are very secure in themselves.

It takes a considerable degree of security to relate comfortably to people who are very different to ourselves, to stay with the discomfort and to not feel somewhat threatened.

It is said of the Christian church that it is one of the few places where people of very different backgrounds come together as one, and there is some real truth in this. But Christians don't have a monopoly on personal security: there are people of other faiths or none who care deeply for others and about world issues and live this out in practical ways in their daily lives. And, sadly, there are Christians who cannot relate even to those from other branches of the Christian faith!

There's no surprise that Christians can be insecure, lacking in love or immature. In short, we're sinful; we are forgiven sinners and no more. But we are urged in the scriptures to 'Love your neighbour as yourself' (Mark 12v31) - which Jesus said was the second most important command of all - and it is made very clear that the call to reach out to 'our neighbour' is to reach well beyond just 'people like us', as the parable of the Good Samaritan makes clear (Luke 10v23f).

It's easy to love and deal decently with people like us. But if we draw tight boundaries around those we feel are like us, then it's time to get on our knees and seek forgiveness, and to ask the Lord to increase the love in our hearts. Growing in love is synonymous with expanding the boundaries of those who we consider like us.

Where do you draw that boundary? Honestly?

If you really want to grow in love and personal security, don't wait until you feel more loving or secure! Get some Godly practice in reaching out to people who are not so like yourself. It'll take some effort and probably won't come naturally at all; you'll need to ask for God's help.

But He's good at this, and by his grace you'll get better at it. And a greater sense of personal security will, in time, follow. And your heart will beat with Jesus' love.

Are you good enough yet?

The TV has just told me (so it must be true) that nine out of ten women are unhappy with their appearance and over half of these want to change the way they look using plastic surgery or the like. This probably applies just as much to men.

But the following, I know is true:

The TV, magazines and advertisements all conspire to tell us “you’re not good, or thin, or beautiful, or wealthy, or successful enough … unless you buy this product, or have this nip and tuck, or...”. And even when we do buy the product or have the uplift, then we’re still not good enough, as we should be even thinner, more beautiful, wealthier, more successful. It's a never-ending treadmill – driven by greed and encouraged by the Enemy: offering happiness, but delivering despair.

We want to be accepted – who doesn’t? This means behaving acceptably in others’ eyes, by the world’s measurements: fitting in, turning a blind eye, keeping up with the Joneses. It's a never-ending struggle – driven by insecurity and urged on by the Enemy: promising contentment and self-esteem, but delivering deceit, a hollow façade, emptiness.

We want to be forgiven and have peace – why wouldn't we? This means trying to be good, be better, be perfect in fact; trying hard, trying harder, trying even harder. It's a never-ending striving – driven by pride and celebrated by the Enemy: guaranteeing self-improvement and satisfaction, but delivering failure.

How odd of God to not realise that we need to earn our salvation! Created? Chosen? Adopted? Accepted? What – for free?

Yes. I was created by God, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed and forgiven. I don't need to struggle or strive, to try harder, or be anything other than I am.

But it wasn’t ‘for free’! It was accomplished at Jesus' enormous cost.

Choose carefully who you listen to.

An Atheist's prayer

Charles Darwin who art dead,
Hallowed be your name.
Thy evolution happens
and it will be done on earth.
As I'm fitter than you, I'll get my daily bread
even if I have to tread on you to do it.
Thank god I don't have any sins,
but heaven forbid anyone sins against me.
And lead me not to consider any alternative,
but deliver me from these blesséd Christians, who should be extinct.
For the science, the intellectual high-ground and the intelligence are mine
now, and until we have evolved enough to wipe out all life on Earth.
Amen.

There's nothing magical about faith

Many people talk about faith as if it's something they happen to have, or, more frequently something they don't have; that's just the way it is. After all how can you believe something when you don't?

This apparent quality of faith provides a stumbling block to those who would like to believe and an invulnerable opt-out to those who don't. We have reached a stalemate, a seeming dead end.

But there's nothing magical about faith - we all use it every day. There is no dead-end, and the opt-out clause is a cop-out.

Consider trust. How do we learn to trust something or someone - or to not trust them? It simply comes from experience; trust grows or diminishes based on our repeated experience. We use it all the time: to consider whether our train will be on time, whether the cash-machine will give us the money we request, or whether a friend will stand by us through difficult times. You are showing your faith, or lack of faith, in your train service, your bank and your friend.

So, is faith just the same as trust? Well, yes and no.

Trust starts with a decision - a small decision to take a small risk - in fact, frequently so small we usually don't even notice it. Think about the simple examples above. The first time I put my bank card in a hole in the wall I am taking a small leap of faith to believe that it won't swallow my card and will give me my cash. I only have the experience of others to go on, so I am deciding to put my faith in them and my bank that it will actually work. And as I repeat this experience, I discover for myself that my bank is trustworthy, or not; that the trains usually run on time, or they don't; that my friend really is a good friend, or not.

But notice where trust starts - it starts with an act of faith, a decision to take a risk. Faith is deciding to trust what we haven't yet experienced. Once we have taken that step of faith, decided to take the risk, then we have the beginnings of experience, which in time may become trust. So doesn't all trust stem from an initial leap of faith - deciding to act before we know for sure? It applies to your bank and to your friend. And it applies to Christianity too.

So you can decide that you don't want to take a risk, don't want to take a step of faith, but you really can't say that you just don't have faith and there's nothing you can do about it... That really is a cop out.